LEtS HaB Sum LaUgH!!!!1

[blackardy]

The teacher writes on the blackboard,揑 ain抰 had no fun all summer.?Then she asks the children, 揥hat is wrong with that sentence and what do I do to correct it??Little Ernie shouts from the back, 揋et a boyfriend.?br>
If a woman holds her head slightly to the right, it means she has a lover. If a woman holds her head slightly to the left, then she also has a lover. And, generally, if a woman has a head on her shoulders, she has a lover.

?/p>

An expedition to Mars came to end. As the Russian crew scrambled aboard, one of the crew members turned out to be missing. After a while the missing man appeared running from behind a tree, followed by a young and pretty Martian woman.
"Why are you late?" the commander demanded.
"You see, I made acquaintance with this lady, and she told me how they make children here on Mars. It turned out they just push a button on a computer, and if they do it once, they get a boy, and if twice, then it's a girl. Then she asked me how we do it on the Earth. I showed her, and now she is running after me and shouting, "Please, sell me your computer."

The mother took her son to the psychiatrist and complained that he was always thinking about sex.
The doctor drew a square on a piece of paper, looked at the boy and asked, "Son, what comes to your mind when you see this drawing?"
The kid answered, "Looks like a window."
The doc said, "What do you think is going on behind that window?"
"People are behind that window," replied the kid. "They are huggin', kissin' and makin' love."
The doctor drew a circle and asked, "What comes to your mind when you see this?"
The kid said, "That's a porthole."
"And what do you think is going on behind that porthole?" inquired the doctor.
"Ah," said the kid, "There are people behind that porthole with their clothes off, drinking."
The doctor said, "Son, would you mind leaving the room? I would like to discuss this with your mother."
The boy got up to leave and as he reached the door he turned around and said, "Hey, Doc, can I have those dirty pictures you drew?"

Old Lindley sat down at the doctor's desk.
"What is your problem?" asked the physician.
"Well, Doc, after the first, I am very tired. After the second, I feel all in. After the third, my heart begins to pound. After the fourth, I break out in a cold sweat. And after the fifth, I am so exhausted I feel I could die!"
"Incredible!" said the M.D. "How old are you?"
"Seventy-six."
"Well, at seventy-six, don't you think you should stop after the first?"
"But Doctor," exclaimed old Lindley, "how can I stop after the first when I live on the fifth?"


Fanny goes to her dentist and complains about a toothache.
"It is very painful?" asks Doc Floss, adjusting the chair.
" Yes it is," replies Fanny.
"Alright Miss Pringles," says Floss, turning to his assistant, "you can leave us now"
Miss Pringles goes out quickly, and the dentist and his patient are left alone.
"Darling!," says Floss, embracing her patients, "we can't go on meeting like this!"
"But why not?" wills Fanny.
"Because," says Floss, "you have only one teeth left!".


A man went to a psychiatrist and said, "Doctor, you will have to help me. I can't help thinking that I am a dog. I even chew bones, bark, and lie on the mat in the evenings."
Said the psychiatrist, "Just lie on that couch...."
"I am not allowed to!" he cried.

A doctor stepped into the patient's room. Five minutes later he came out and asked for a corkscrew, then he went back to his patient. In another five minutes he was out again and demanded a chisel and hammer.
The distraught husband couldn't stand it any longer. He pleaded, "For heaven's sake, doctor, what is wrong with my wife?"
"I don't know yet," the doctor replied. "I can't get my bag opened."