Marital woes..(sigh)...courtesy of the vault

[greg]

>
>
> > Man: Is there any way for long life?
> > Dr: Get married.
> > Man: Will it help?
> > Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> > Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
> > It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
> > begins!
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> >
> > Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
> > Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
> >
> > It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged..
> > It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> >
> > It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
> > women and then he turns them into Wives.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> >
> > If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy
> > Independence Day
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> > Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
> something
> > you say.
> > After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> > There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
> electronic
> >
> > banking. It's called marriage.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> > Girlfriends r like chocolates,
> > taste good anytime.
> > Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
> > Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
> >
> > Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
> > Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> > Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
> > Women'?
> > Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -
> > Q: Why dogs don't marry?
> > A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
>
>
> > There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
> he
> would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
> thru hell.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> >
> > Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the
> > other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
>
> > Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
> > A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same
> offence!
>