Non-stop Jokes...u Cant Stop Laughing By Reading It ...

[JNUS]

Originally Posted by rajeeb

# How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.

Excellent collections.... Keep it up

[GUNNER]

nice jokes...keep them coming
had fun reading them

[rajeeb]

# What's the definition of lawyer?
The larval form of a politician

#Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.


'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'



# 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.

# Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U
Continue to do so.



# A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

# Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.


# Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???



# Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!

#
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

# Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born



# Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

# Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

#1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

[peace]

Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!

NIce .....
These Jokes has become a diet to me.. hope comes more day by day...

[medic]

Originally Posted by rajeeb

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

nice answer

[rajeeb]

# Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."



# Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey .
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!

# Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui... Biwi ghar main aayi... ghar SWARG ban

gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI...



# They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is

love; after marriage it is self-defense





# It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as

women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!





# It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to

protect a country

BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI







# After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st

patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch

& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI





#What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a

positive side!





# Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.

Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?

Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!





# It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered


# A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..

A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!



#Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.

Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?

Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?

Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

[peace]

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as

women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

lovely...
nice .....
Early the morning, starting a day with these jokes will really refresh.. It refreshed me

[rajan mandal, MPH]

very nice my dear Bhatij...go on and be care

Originally Posted by rajeeb

NON-STOP JOKES...U CANT STOP LAUGHING BY READING IT ...

SARDAR JEE IS BACK ..

1. A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.



2. Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?



3. Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".




4. Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!



5. Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant
it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.



6. Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs
back.



7. Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....



8. Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the
passengers in the
car he was driving..


9. Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!


10. Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.


11. Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..



12. A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not
in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

[rajeeb]

New Teacher

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard
students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, "Let's start with the boys first."

Boys start giving their intro...

First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see
bubble in the
bathtub."

Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok. In
fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And
after all there is
essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John.
Yes next."

Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see
bubble in the
bathtub."

Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the
spirit of
supporting a friend. Ok next."

Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in
the bathtub."

Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be
sincere. Ok next."


This continues...

and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is
to see bubble in
the bathtub."

Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be
able to teach
un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."

First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."

Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok
next."

Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect
perfumes."

Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok
next. You sweet
girl; Yes you..."

Most beautiful girl of the class:

"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath
three times a
day."

HA HA HA................
:b anana:


Adolph Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed. “Who was that!?” Shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything.

“I see, ”he said, “I will have 10 of you shot. And maybe then you will tell me who sneezed?” A Gestapo agent took 10 people out of the room. Shots were heard, then silence.

“I will ask again, “yelled Hitler, “who sneezed?’” Again, no body said anything. “Very vell, ”he said, “I will have another 10 of you shot!”.

The Gestapo agent escorted 10 more people out of the room and executed them. “For the very last time, “screamed Hitler, “Who sneezed?”

Finally the guilty officer could stand no more. He stood up and said, ”It was me, I am the one who sneezed.”

Hitler slowly approached the shaking officer and said. ”Bless you.”


An Indian family was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother
arrived
from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was
very
tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it. When
they
opened the lid, they found a letter on top addressed to them - her
brothers
and sisters:


Dear Chandrakant bhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha

I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be
cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in India. Sorry, I
could
not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.


You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of processed
cheese, 10 packets of Toblerone and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide
these
among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok
shoes(size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's
and
Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is also wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.
Just
distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is
wearing are
for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.
Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you
asked
for. Please take them off
her!

The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my
nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.

Love Smita

PS: If anything more is required please let me know soon as Bapuji is
also
not feeling too well nowadays...

[jaish]

Friends like under wear when they r together u feels comfortable ,,,,,Good friends like condom when u have it,it will protect u ,,,,,,Very good friend r like VIAGRA since when u r getting down it will keep u up ..........