...i had to end of the day with just one more...from the vault

[greg]

the 3 minute management course......hahahhaaha
-enjoy the morals behind each lesson



<B>Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is

finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The

wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs

downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,

the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob

says, "I'll give you R800 to drop that towel." After

thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and

stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob

hands her R800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in

the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to

the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It

was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about

the R800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit

and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in

a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed

her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest

nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he

stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,

"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his

hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up

her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,

remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologised "Sorry

sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the

convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at

the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find

glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might

miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager

are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil

lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie

says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." Me first!

Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the

Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the

world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says

the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on

the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply

of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's

gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office

after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I

also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered:

"Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground

below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox

appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting

very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be

able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the

turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why

don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the

bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey

pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave

him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the

tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he

reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth

night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of

the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who

shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

BullSh!t might get you to the top, but it won't keep

you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was

so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a

large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by

and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay

there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how

warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to

sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird d singing

and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat

discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and

promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your

friend

(3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep

your mouth shut!

This ends the 3-minute management course

</B>

[chetnarayan]

cool .....liked 1st & 2nd lessons.

thanx for sharing

[kniraz]

nice ones...

[Khushboo]

Thanx for teaching such good lessons........