Laughter:The Best Medicine

[tHEhEALER]

GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS!!!!!!!
An gentleman walks into the Guinness world records office and announces
that he has set a new record. The man in charge says 'well,... what is
it?'

The gentleman says 'I've completed this 200 piece jigsaw puzzle, and it
only took me 18 months!'

And the man in charge says 'Well,... why should that be a new world
record?!' And the gentleman says 'It said on the box 3 to 5 years!'

[tHEhEALER]

BIRTH CONTROL PILLS
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked
why she was there, she replied, 'I'd like to have some birth control
pills.'

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, 'Excuse me,
Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have
for birth control pills?'

The woman responded, 'They help me sleep better.'

The doctor thought some more and continued, 'How in the world do birth
control pills help you to sleep?'

The woman said, 'I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every
morning and I sleep better at night.'

[orthodox]

hahahaha
the second one was nicer!!!

[tHEhEALER]

I'll Fix It!
A lawyer, a doctor and an engineer have all been sentenced
to die for crimes that they have committed.
The Lawyer is brought up in shackles and placed in the guillotine.The executioner pulls the lever to activate the device and the blade starts to fall but jams. The Lawyer is spared and released to go free.
The Doctor is brought up in shackles and placed in the guillotine.The executioner pulls the lever to activate the device and the blade starts to fall but jams. The Doctor is spared and released to go free.
The Engineer is brought up in shackles and placed in the guillotine.The executioner reaches for the lever to activate the device and the engineer shouts, "Wait! Stop everything! I think I've figured out your problem!"

[tHEhEALER]

THE WORST AGE TO BE!!!
Three old guys were talking over coffee about which age was the worst to be.
"Sixty is the worst age to be." said the 60 year old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."
'Ah! That's nothing." said the 70 year old man. "When you're seventy you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out."
"Actually." said the 80 year old man. "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60 year old.
"No, not really! I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock - no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" asked the 70 year old.
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60 year old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and poop every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00!"

[orthodox]

hahahahaha

[sanjibrocks]

cool stuffs

[tHEhEALER]

A TRIP TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
An 85 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave him a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85 year old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still could not get the jar open.
HAHAHAHAHA - What were you thinking?

[tHEhEALER]

A FOUR LETTER WORD

A young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they arrived home from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. "Well, darling," said her mom, "how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mother," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time!
But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language... Stuff I'd never heard before... Really terrible 4-letter words... You've got to come get me and take me home. PLEASE MOTHER!" And the new bride began to sob over the telephone.
"But honey," the mother countered, "WHAT 4-letter words?" "I can't tell you, mother," said the daughter, "they're too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!" "Darling daughter, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell mother the 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Mother.... he is using words like:
DUST... WASH... IRON... COOK!

[Sanjali]

nice one dude ,keep it up.......................