Virgin Husband

[RAAZ]

A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'.

With this advice from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to get her mother's blessings to marry.

"Mother, I've met the my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that being faithful?"

Her mother nodded in agreement.

"Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, they'll share one room only. Isn't he not thrifty guy?"

For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern.

"And finally mum..., I know he is a virgin"

"How did you know he is still a virgin?" The mother asked with repidition. "MMM...his 'that one' is still new and hard....all wrapped up in plastic, mum!"

[RAAZ]

Late at night this guy runs into a pub and demands a glass of water from the landlord. The guy drinks it in one gulp then asks for a second glass. Six pints later and he has recovered enough to speak.

"Thanks," he croaks.

"That's one hell of a thirst you've got," says the landlord. The guy says, "Any man would be as bad if they'd just had sex with the woman in my car. She's insatiable. She wants me to go right back out there and do it all again, but I can't."

"Where's your car?" the landlord asks.

"At the roadside," the guy gasps.

"Tell you what," says the landlord, "you watch the bar for me while I nip out and take your place. "

"Be my guest," the guy says.

So the landlord goes outside and gets in the car. It's totally dark, so the woman doesn't realize she's with a different man. And they get right down to it, humping away.

Five minutes later there's a knock on the window. It's a cop, and he shines his flashlight on the naked couple.

"What's going on here?" he asks.

"It's all right, officer, "explains the landlord, "She's my wife."

The officer replies apologetically, "Oh, sorry sir, I didn't realize."

Looking at the woman the landlord says, "Neither did I till you switched on that damned light."

[RAAZ]

One night a man and a woman meet in a bar and knock back a few beers. After about an hour, the man says to the woman:
"Hey, how about we go back to my place for a little fun. No strings attached. It`ll just be one night of fun."
The woman agrees. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she`s about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You`re a surgeon, aren`t you?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started."
"Oh, that makes sense", says the woman.
" You`re an anesthesiologist aren`t you?" "Yeah", says the man, a bit surprised. "How did you know?"
The woman answers, "Because I slept through most of it and didn`t feel a thing."