Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him
"Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been
very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's
license, I told the clerk that I would like a license
for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!"
Then I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
I said, "You don't understand... I have had Sex since
I was nine years old."
He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister
that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told
me to wait until after the wedding was over.
I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and
my whole world revolves around Sex."
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life
and would not marry us in his church. I told him
everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. My
family was barred from the church from then on.
The next day we were married at the Justice of the
Peace. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I
took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel,
I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my
wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every
room in the motel is a place for sex.
I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at
night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the
competition began, the dog ran away. Another
contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I
told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest.
He said that I should have sold my own tickets.
"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex
on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to
fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I
had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I
was married."
The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking
all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I
was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I
said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next
Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and
had more dang troubles with that dog than I ever
foresaw. Why just the other day-when I went for my
first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me,
"What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life
but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any
longer so lonely."
The doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand
that sex isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a
dog."
enjoy!!
Sex !!!!!!!!! -
05-12-2005, 09:20 AM
Linear Mode
