Lesson

[Smile]

LESSON 1
An intern, a house officer and their HOD are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager house officer shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the america, with a wonderful life style and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was gone.

Now the intern could not keep quiet and shouted "I want NMC registration without NMLE and to be in New York doing post graduate in medicine with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and he was also gone.

The HOD calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the ward after lunch at 3.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE HOD TO SPEAK FIRST"



LESSON 2
Standing in front of a ECG mechine, "Listen," said the HOD, "this is very urgent, we need to diagnose whether this patient had MI or not and ECG technician has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young intern.

He turned the machine on, asked the patient to lie down in the bed, applied gely and chest lead correspondilgy and pressed the start button on the ECG mechine.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the HOD as ECG paper got jamed inside the ECG mechine. "I just need one copy."

LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR HOD KNOWS EVERYTHING"


LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"

The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of ese are you?"

Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.

The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? "

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind of 'key' was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'am I?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"


LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish.

When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE".

The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "

LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"


LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.

Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.

Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.

Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go.

Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.

asssshhhooolee..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asssshhhooolee very mad.

To prove his point, the asssshhhooolee immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asssshhhooolee be in charge.

MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE asssshhhooolee THAT IS IN CHARGE"


Lesson 6
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

LESSON: IF YOU SHARE CRITICAL INFORMATION PERTAINING TO CREDIT AND RISK WITH YOUR SHAREHOLDERS IN TIME, YOU MAY BE IN A POSITION TO PREVENT AVOIDABLE EXPOSURE


Lesson 7
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

LESSON: IF YOU ARE NOT WELL INFORMED IN YOUR JOB, YOU MIGHT MISS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY.

[orthodox]

hey the last one's the best!!!