I'm Confused!!

I'm so confused about what I want to do as far as my career in medicine is concerned. I am so envious of people who know early on that they want to be a surgeon or whatever, because at least they can start preparing themselves accordingly. I know, people change their minds all the time, but I think at least there is some sense of direction by aiming to follow a particular path early. A sense of direction and ultimately a peace of mind.

I really didn't have a clue while coming to medical school that in which field I will chose later in my life. I had ideas of what I didn't want to do, but none of what I did want to. So far, I've only been into medicine so I don't know what other fields are like. Right now, I feel like I should hold off on making too many plans until I experience the practical way of medicine, until I work in the different fields and decide which one I like the most or by fate which field I get to continue my further studies in. If it goes on well, then I will make many grandious plans on my life. If not, well...

But right now, the only thing bothering me the most is the upcoming finals. My sleeps are disturbed, I escape my dinners, my days start and end up with books. My seniors had told me about the tough times we would face during these days of finals but then I was least bothered about it. I thought no exam would be tough if we studied good. But I am here facing the difficulties that I was already aware of. Though well prepared there is always a sense of stuffs lacking in my knowledge. I know that no one in this world knows everything but I feel like I don’t know even the basic things that I should be knowing at this hour.

Learning is a continuous process and it never ends. Moreover medicine is that subject where there is always a new thing to learn about the next day.

Though realizing all these critics of life, I am still confused, confused about my present, confused about my future. I am so confused.........Sigh……….!!!!