[luaa]

1) Q: What is common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhi and Jesus..?
A: All are born on Government holidays.

2) Q: Brother of Kalidas has been making shoes till date.What is his name?
A: Adidas

3) Person: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The spider on your bread will kill it.
Person: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: I think it's swimming.
Person: Waiter! This coffee tastes like soap!
Waiter: Ah, that must be tea, sir. The coffee tastes like glue.
Reader: Agggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!

4) Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
ANSWERS ::

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads .

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. !!!!!!!!!


5) A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."!!!!

6) Husband asks his wife, do you know the meaning of "wife"? It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime! His wife says, no, it means - With Idiot for Ever!


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